I’m intrigued by writer’s block and the relationship we have with our writing. There exists, within so many of us, a burning desire to write – a desire so relentless that we don’t give up on it. And then, there are days, or weeks (perhaps even months or years) that go by without a single word being written, and we may experience writer’s block. Despite this latter place, we can’t quite let go of the dream of, one day, being a writer.
What stops you improving the relationship that you have with your writing?
What does writing bring that means we endure the displeasure of procrastination, fearing we’re not good enough, waiting in an agonised and powerless way for the moment words will come? If writing is so wonderful that we put up with all of this, what stops us writing more?!
How would you describe your current relationship with your writing?
Do you have periods of block, or self-doubt where you struggle with your writing? Would you prefer to be better ‘chums’?
Is your writing the friend who always arrives late, or the one who calls at the most inconvenient time? Does your writing leave you feeling mediocre, wishing you were better? Perhaps, when your writing knocks at the door, it guarantees a wonderful afternoon – if only it would knock more often! Maybe your writing doesn’t stay long enough, or it’s a series of meetings with fabulously interesting people, but you never see them again, so you’ve dozens of unfinished blog posts, chapters or poems, sitting in a folder you cannot face.
Whatever the relationship with your writing, it can help to ask (especially if you are experiencing writer’s block): in what way am I allowing this?
I remember being in a relationship in my twenties. This time it was with an actual human – let me lead you out of my analogy and into the truth of my life for a moment! I felt that I loved him, but I also felt unhappy. The one reason, I didn’t do anything about it was because I thought I was lucky to feel the love that I felt, and that I would endure the unhappiness.
I’m no longer in this relationship – that contract I had with myself was not sustainable. Slowly, the unhappiness began to stain the love so that even on the day I found myself feeling joy, I was fearful of the moment the joy would stop.
What I realise now, is that I also believed this was as good as it got. I was lucky to have something.
What was really happening was that I was behaving ‘as if’ this was as good as it got, and therefore making that ‘theory’ the truth of my life.
We behave ‘as if’ with our writing too, making the theories of ‘writers procrastinate’, ‘writers struggle’, painful truths, when we could find another truth where writer’s block offers more than simply a blank page and a heavy heart.
What’s one thing that writers possess? It’s the reason that – when I decided to become a mindset coach – I knew I wanted to specialise in working with writers.
What if you were to imagine the relationship you wanted with your words? I guarantee that, right now, you could dream up something wonderful!
For fifteen minutes, every day, I write in a specific notebook. Here, is where I face my relationship with my writing. I feel rather like a scientist in these moments! I step into my notebook and experiment – both for myself and my own journey as a writer, and also my clients. Each day, without fail, I make a new discovery.
Yesterday, for example, I felt as thought I was struggling for words. I tried, in that moment, to imagine something much stronger and resilient within me, beyond the surface thoughts of, ‘my ideas aren’t very good today.’ I found the true writer within me, this faith I’m getting something down on the page, learning, strengthening my ability to write, no matter what.
Suddenly, it didn’t matter what I thought of these words, or how I felt about my ability as a writer, because I was keeping at my practice. I was ‘behaving’ my way to writing success.
The next time you find yourself reluctant, or uninspired, or lamenting your writing relationship, take a moment to ask yourself: ‘how am I behaving?’
Are you behaving ‘as if’ there’s nothing you can do, or are you behaving your way towards writing in exactly the way you want? There is such a grand difference between them!
How different would your writing routine be if you always made a lovely discovery with your words; if you woke up eager to make that discovery?
If you think working with me one-to-one will be the key to creating the relationship that you want with your writing, then book a free Discovery Call today to see how I can help.
Or, perhaps you like the accountability of a Group Program. Join a growing group of dedicated writers and professionals for online writing sessions and day-to-day support to achieving your dreams!