It’s never going to happen.
I’m always late.
You don’t listen to me.
We hate Mondays.
Writing is hard.
They don’t understand me.
I’m sure I’ve said all of these, but it never occurred to me that I was making these statements truths. The truth of: it’s never going to happen. This means never. This means believing that something – usually, something I want – is never, ever, ever going to happen…
Yet, I keep wanting it.
This changed around 2015 for me when I began learning some of the practices of the Inca Shaman. During my training, I began to see how I was the only one in charge of my truths. If I wanted to go along in life, continuing to experience the truth of ‘it’s never going to happen’, I could. If I wanted. Did I want that?
Generalisations put us in a spot with very little variation. ‘I’m always late,’ holds us back from change, the chance of, for once, being early. ‘Always,’ means, holding on to one thing, without being able to let go and take hold of another.
There can be a strange, ironic comfort in a generalisation. More comfortable, say, to talk about how your partner never listens; how writing is hard.
If there was true comfort to be gained by going around, saying that writing is hard, then I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing now. And, when I was going around, saying that writing was hard, I didn’t feel halfway near as good as I do now. Yet, when I was going around, telling everyone and myself (or probably less everyone and more myself) that writing was hard, it must have been comfortable, otherwise, why keep doing it?
The reward of making a generalisation, I find, is temporary. It’s a split second rush in the brain for being correct. I remember that pat on the head, or the teacher’s nod from my classroom days. But then comes the fallout. Did I gain the teacher’s nod for doing something I truly and totally wanted? No. I gained it by following rules.
Telling myself that I hate Mondays, might bring that momentary comfort of familiarity, being right, safe, secure. But then there is the understanding that in order to feel that comfort, one has to hate Mondays, or, writing has to be hard. Always.
A generalisation is a video of your life shot in one colour. Here, the vital detail is hard to see. Note how I said one colour. I’m not talking about black and white. I’m talking about just black. Mindset coaching seeks to introduce the contrast back in, find the other colours. They are there.
The areas we are generalising in, are the areas we are struggling in. Once we stop generalising about our writing, we stop struggling in our writing.
By looking for the exception – the one Monday you loved, all the times your partner has understood, events in your life that did go as planned – we show our imagination a way out. Our true creative spirit steps out from behind classroom rules and shows its colours.
Need help to clear out those generalisations?
Book a free Discovery call with me today and remind yourself of what you are capable of in your writing.
What is #writenomatterwhat?
My work is aimed at guiding writers to a place where they can write, no matter what, coming to the page with an acceptance of who they are and how they want to truly express themselves. My One to One Coaching, Group Program and Self Study Package are all aimed at enabling writers to write in the way they have always wanted, overcoming doubt, procrastination and fear, to be the writer they truly deserve.
Follow me on YouTube for weekly videos of my #writenomatterwhat campaign where I take a typewriter to a new location every week, write for ten minutes on a one-word prompt before reading to camera. This is the year to be the writer that you aspire to be and write, no matter what!