Do you always love what happens in life? Sure, when you get that great idea, or if a piece of writing is praised, but what about when your novel is sagging, or when you can’t summon the motivation to write?
If we’re not spending the majority of our day, enjoying what’s happening to us or our WIP, how can we expect to feel inspired enough to write?
This isn’t just a touchy-feely, make love not war, ‘hey, let’s just be positive’ bid. I’m talking about the cost of going about our days, reacting with thoughts such as ‘typical’ when things don’t go right. That one word means that when we get a parking ticket, or another rejection email, or any other unwanted outcome to a situation, we tell ourselves that this is ‘normal’, that such happenings are characteristic for us. This is why we then find we resist the kind of behaviour and healthy habits that are going to elevate our writing and our lives, and why we find it easy to accept thoughts that writing is hard, or that we’re probably not going to achieve success in that area.
What do you say, ‘typical’ to?
Years ago, it seemed ‘normal’ for me to be miserable and unproductive, and at the same time want to be happy and writing. Now, I know I’ve no chance of happiness if I’m feeling down about what’s going on around me. The brain works like a computer, storing programs. It will store the program of ‘I’m frustrated and I want to be writing’ so that this is the cycle we live out, never changing, never reaching that satisfaction of seeing words on the page.
In order to shift our lives and writing habits, we start by changing our perspective to fate. I’m not just talking about the fact that we can choose how to feel when something unwanted happens, rather that we can choose to LOVE IT, NO MATTER WHAT.
Every feeling creates an ecosystem for our vital organs. When you’re booking a holiday, do you waver between an exciting, fascinating place and a cesspit? Yet, when choosing how we react to bad news, the latter option seems normal.
By doing this, we’re not just putting our bodies into a comparative war zone, aging our cells unnecessarily, we’re also habitualising such a reaction. We didn’t get good feedback for our writing? No. It makes total sense to go and plonk ourselves in a sewer, sitting there while our mind essentially screams and stamps all over us. The message to ourselves: ‘this is what happens when things don’t work out.’ Do you see how this means we become used to punishing ourselves – often in the moments we most need love? After a while, we expect it and stop questioning why writing is so bloody difficult because ‘that’s just the way it is’.
Enter Mindset Coach for Writers stage left with beaming, cheesy smile, holding up a placard that says: IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS!
What I want to make clear is that my life and writing are not running in perfect harmony all the time. There are setbacks and disappointments. The difference is what happens next. By looking at a disaster and giving thanks, I’m training my brain out of the, ‘yet again, this always happens to me’ attitude and asking it to see the benefit in the situation, which I’ve found it will do, so much so that my life has become significantly less disastrous simply by viewing it through a different lens.
Our mind receives thousands of pieces of information per minute. How can we process all of that? We can’t. We filter. Through practice, we learn to filter the good – those signs that lead to happiness, inspiration, success. Or, you can continue to follow the same path towards expected failures and recurring disappointment.
Up to you.
If I fail, and I have the composure to say, ‘I totally love what’s happening!’ a shift occurs. Even if the presence of mind comes a day late (which it can do!), or I say the words with a heap of irony, eventually I will feel my perspective alter into a curious state.
I’m not going to claim a magic formula in the sense that this phrase will pop a genie out in front of you. Though, it’s magic in the way the shift does occur, simply because you’ve done something different. It can feel nuts at first. It did for me. But, my life is a constant practice and Mindset Coaching is a process of trial and error – a long-term journey. The difference is that this journey ends in you fulfilling your true potential.
Interested in a free, online Masterclass to Unleash your Creativity?